Speaking of Halloween costumes

6 Oct

Oh look, a blog! I wonder whose it is? Oh, it’s mine? Oh wow. I wonder why I haven’t updated it in so long? Can I plead a broken finger? I didn’t actually break anything, but I could pretend.

Anyway, I’m in an out-of-town wedding this weekend (not mine; that was several years ago), and I am currently running around like a freshly decapitated chicken as I try to get ready to go on this trip. I mean, not CURRENTLY currently, as currently I am writing a blog post, but you get the point. Stop being so pedantic.

Let’s talk about Halloween costumes. What are you going to be this year? What are your favorite costumes from past years?

I trick-or-treated all the way up until I graduated high school, with a group of friends. No one ever seemed to mind, though, because we were always polite, and always–ALWAYS–costumed. I don’t mind older kids trick-or-treating, so long as there are costumes involved.

My Halloween costumes over the years have been varied, strange, and often quite repetitive. For instance, I was She-Rah two or three years in a row (this was back when I was a kid and didn’t have my rules about hair color), and Winnifred Sanderson (Bette Middler’s character) from Hocus Pocus at least twice, back when my sister and I could still quote most of that movie. There was also a Catwoman stint, inspired by Michelle Pfieffer’s brillian turn in Batman Returns. I had little mouse ears we shaped to be more pointy. My mom even drew stitch marks on my leotard with chalk. Unfortunately, I wore purple underwear under said leotard, so the kids at school called me “Purple Underwear Girl” all day. I was not super pleased.

In 6th grade, before I grew to be half a foot taller than her, I wore some of my mom’s clothes from high school and was a “hippie” (I use scare quotes because my mom went to high school in the mid-1970s and was not, in fact, a hippie). In 8th grade, myself, my best friend at the time, and my sister dressed up as Hanson. I had to be Isaac. I was not super pleased with that either, and neither did I really look like him, but my sister was a dead ringer for Zac circa 1998, so it worked well enough.

When I was a tiny tot, and we still lived in Cleveland, OH, I was a fairy princess one year. This didn’t work out very well, because it was freezing, and I had to wear my winter coat over my fairy princess costume and we trick-or-treated by car. The next year I was Beetlejuice, which was awesome; my mom and I (mostly my mom) stitched white stripes onto a pair of legging, and then she painted a black jacket with white stripes and added a snake at the collar. I like to believe I was the hit of the Brownie Girl Scout party.

In college and beyond, I went a little more obscure. I’ve been Crowley from Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Prachett (a friend was Aziraphale, and we walked around being other peoples’ shoulder angel/devil); Pride (part of a Seven Deadly Sins set; I got dressed to the nines and covered myself in congratulatory ribbons: “#1”, “Winner”, “The Best”, etc); Rocky Balboa (an inside joke that should have won me the work costume contest but didn’t) complete with black eye; Hera, the Greek goddess (which gave me the excuse to wear a metric ton of glitter and carry peacock feathers; I was beaten at the work costume contest by a dead-on Frida Kahlo); and Carmen Sandiego, which is to date the easiest, most comfortable costume I have ever worn.

Some day I would like to use an idea I stole from a friend’s little sister and be the Slings and Arrows of Outrageous Fortune (carry a slingshot, wear one of those arrow-through-the-head headbands, and cover myself in Monopoly money). This year, however, I’ll be doing as a lady who lives too far in the boonies to go to any parties or get trick-or-treaters.

So again, what are you wearing?



6 Responses to “Speaking of Halloween costumes”

  1. Heather October 6, 2011 at 5:43 pm #

    The hell you say! You should, um, come to Gainesville to a party with me? I may have started this comment before I thought it all the way through. It’s quite a hike for one night of costumed debauchery.

    I have no ideas for costumes. The sisters and I will be brainstorming this weekend about it.

  2. stonebiscuit October 6, 2011 at 5:55 pm #

    Hah! I’ll see what I can do. I appreciate the invitation! We will dress up as Sharon, Louis and Bran. I’ll bring my grey cat to be the elephant.

    • Cracks October 6, 2011 at 6:16 pm #

      Most brilliant thing i’ve ever read

  3. Cracks October 6, 2011 at 6:15 pm #

    I’ve probably been everything. I’ve been Bride of Frankenstien, Dinosaur Princess, Belle, Beetlejuice, zombie hockey player, dog, cat, werewolf, pirate. The older i got the less imaginative i became. Eventually it became “Fuck it, i’m a human in a halloween-ish top.” But this year i’m Jedi Mulan.

    • stonebiscuit October 6, 2011 at 6:20 pm #

      My mom used to have a shirt that said “This is my costume.”

      And I want pictures of complete Jedi Mulan ASAP, missy.

  4. Bri October 6, 2011 at 8:58 pm #

    Ahahaha I love Halloween. I’ve had a penchant for going as characters from Neil Gaiman works. I’ve been Death and Desire, as well as Door. THIS year, however… I’ve lost my mind. Last year at a Halloween party I got it into my head that I would go as LeeLoo Dallas from 5th Element. BUT – not the cropped white shirt tight gold pants. No… I decided I’d make a bandage costume, with the help of a friend.

    And I was too stubborn to change my mind. The fabric has been purchased and mostly cut, and I’m questing to find a pair of white underwear (to use as a base for the pattern) and an orange wig.

    I meant to work out LOADS… but I haven’t, between work, the haunted house I’m volunteering for, and play rehearsals (yay Tartuffe!)… so I’m going to have to either start… or drink enough at the parties to where I’m no longer so self conscious.

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