Costuming in Geekdom, or How Much Geekier Do I Have To Be?

30 Nov

When you were a little kid, did you play dress up?

Ever wear your Halloween costume on a day it wasn’t Halloween?

Ever run around in a cape and Superman underoos?

Ever slip your tiny child feet into your dad’s shoes and stomp around the house declaring yourself a very famous rock star and could someone please bring you a bowl of brown M & Ms?

Congratulations, my friend: you were, for that moment in time at least, behaving like a geek! Because playing dress up is a geeky thing to do.

I would have thought that was obvious. If a “geek” is someone who displays a lot of enthusiasm about a particular fandom (or many fandoms, or fandom in general), dressing up as someone/something from a fandom should be a pretty good indicator of geekery. If a Green Lantern t-shirt is a sign that you like Green Lantern, a Green Lantern costume is a giant billboard with arrows and flashing lights and choirs of angels. For the record (again), I hate the term “cosplay.” It has undertones of half-assed performance art and it makes me cringe. BUT! it’s the generally accepted term amongst fandom circles, so let’s use it here. Let me be perfectly clear: costuming, cosplay, dress up, whatever you want to call it, is just as geeky as more long-accepted pursuits. And, I would posit, unlike many of those pursuits, it’s actually difficult. I will see your several thousand dollars in carefully organized back issues of DC and raise you the time and energy to learn an actual skill.

Again, I would have thought that was obvious, but sometimes I expect too much of people. I’m a little late commenting on this, but apparently there are people–men, mostly–in the geek community who are just so, so mad at cosplayers. Female cosplayers, specifically.

furious tantrum

The argument being posited again and again is that women dressing up at cons aren’t “real geeks,” but rather attention-hungry posers looking to prey on hapless geeks, who are assumed/outright stated to be men and boys. How dare those bitches come in and be interested in geek stuff! They’re ruining everything! SOON THERE WILL BE BOOBS* EVERYWHERE WHAT DO WE DO.

Sane people were like “dudes, WTF, your misogyny is showing,” to which the dudes replied “nuh-uh I do TONS of shit to help women” (paraphrased only slightly). “Fake geeks,” they and many of their commenters keep insisting, are a real problem! And most of them just happen to be girls! Which makes those girls ATTENTION WHORES, because wanting attention for something awesome you made is totally not ok. Which is why all directors, writers, comic book artists, and actors are anonymous–oh. Wait.

pathetic whore

You know how many “fake geeks” I have met in my life? I have met people who were paid to be at geek conventions, and I have met people whose geeky interests were different from mine, and I knew people who were new to their particular interest, and I have met people who snuck into geek conventions just to look, but I have never ever ever met a person who had paid money to go to a goddamned geek convention without any interest whatsoever in the geeky goings on. Has this happened? I’m sure it has! There are jillions of people who go to cons, and doubtless some of them are just curious. I doubt very much that those people are cosplaying, though. And even if they are–so what? Everyone has to start somewhere. Geekdom isn’t a society of elites–it’s a club for people who like shit.

On the surface, a lot of the complaints are about promotion models–aka “booth babes”–who are usually pretty women hired by corporations to drive interest in their product. I don’t particularly relish this form of marketing at cons, because it turns women into a commodity and ignores the presence of straight women** in the geek community. That being said, do I think it’s appropriate to attack the models? WHY, NO. Women have to earn a living just like men, and models/actors just as much as engineers. If a particular marketing strategy is offensive to you, the reasonable thing to do is not spend money on the product being advertised. Slandering the employees with misogynistic insults is not reasonable.

But they’re not just talking about promotion models. The Idiot Nerd Girl meme (look it up, I’m not linking to it) is not about booth babes; it’s about people without sufficient “geek cred,” whatever the fuck that means. Geekery, apparently, is an elite society that you have to prove yourself worthy to join. Naturally, since ladies are the carriers of Original Sin and all, the bulk of this proving falls to women.

amirightladies

amirightladies2

Click for source, and follow, b/c it’s hilarious

The root of this problem is a hard thing to address because it’s upsetting. It makes me angry, and sad, and it hurts and I hate it, but it’s true: geek culture is chockablock full of misogyny.

Kind of like that, only not adorable

Kind of like that, only not cute

Cons, ren faires, gaming, TV, movies; all geekdom. All of it. Not all the geek people have been misogynistic jerkbags, but all of the geeky pursuits I’ve been involved in have had misogynistic jerkbags in them. And some of my geeky pursuits have been In this way, geekdom is a lot like mainstream society. As much as we would like to think/hope it is, geekdom isn’t a safe space for everyone. For every girl who’s found a finally found a place full of other people who are really into Mon Calamari ballet, there’s a girl getting harassed in a con elevator. Sometimes it’s the same girl. And that’s fucking horrible, but it’s par for the course in a culture that doesn’t respect women.

Because…no. Geekdom, at large, does not respect women. We’ve made enormous strides away from our intensely misogynistic roots, but we’re still treating Gor like it’s anything other than the fantasies of a mouthbreathing 15 year old. We’re still making fun of Twilight because it’s got sparkly vampires and not because it glorifies an abusive, controlling, relationship***. We’re still looking sideways at many other fandoms enjoyed mostly by women (at least until the dudes get into it, or the creator of the fandom wins a bunch of awards, and if the source material is anti-woman, well, so much the better!). And we’re still debating whether cosplay is a legit form of geekery, or just something that “attention whores” do. That’s why if you’re dressed as the Scarlet Witch, you had better know everything about her (including the seven million times she’s gone crazy) because some dude is going to demand you recount it before he introduces himself–which he will never do. Just, ya know, for example.

tumblr_mdmbwpfJA11qkpz0fo7_1280

Cosplay, costuming, dressing up–whatever you want to call it, this shit is geeky. And it is awesome. There is so much amazing work being done by cosplayers, costumers, and other professional/semi-professional dresser uppers. The Friday Night Costume Contest, in which awards are based on technique, is one of the highlights of Dragon*Con! The passion, talent, time, and money being spent on costuming in geekdom, to astounding results, should be celebrated, not discredited. But these are women-dominated pursuits, and to acknowledge that they are worthwhile, we might have to acknowledge that women are worthwhile as more than decoration. Aye, there’s the rub. Female geeks exist, and are, in fact, human beings, and deserve to be welcomed and respected. Just like male geeks.

Other people who have said this better than me:

The Mary Sue: On the “Fake” Geek Girl – “The Fake Geek Girl has been with me ever since I was eleven and found that I really liked Batman: The Animated Series, when my fear of being labeled a fake geek girl said that if I didn’t become an expert on Batman, the moment I made some kind of mistake or omission I’d be branded as “fake” by the person I was interacting with. Not a novice, a learner, someone who was worth teaching and bringing into the community, but a fake, a poser, somebody who deserved to be kicked out. Where was the “geeks in the mainstream” discussion fifteen years ago when I was getting into Batman? Right, it wasn’t there, because geeks were not getting into the mainstream at that time. But the Fake Geek Girl idea was there.” AND! “But who are you to say that a stranger, someone you’re never likely to meet, is not genuinely interested in the thing they appear to be interested in? Who are you? I just… what? I’m rendered incoherent. Here at the Mary Sue, when an actress goes on a talk show and describes her personal affection and involvement and enjoyment and FANDOM for geek properties, we take it at face value. Why? Because we don’t actually have a reason not to. Because the alternative breeds a closed community of paranoid, elitist jerks who lash out at anyone new.”

Who Gets To Ge A Geek? Anyone Who Wants To Be – “Geekdom is a nation with open borders.”

Nerds: Stop Hating Women, Please – “But the views Harris expresses aren’t just held by virulent misogynists – instead, they are depressingly common in “geek culture”. Too many nerds have basically internalised the stereotype of themselves as ugly, friendless losers and decided that anyone who doesn’t fit that stereotype – particularlywomen – is a “fake geek”, taking advantage of the fact that being a geek is now ‘cool’.”

The Great Geek Cosplay Debate – “We were all young and clueless once. It’s likely we’re all young and clueless now, compared to our future selves. Just because the person dressed as a lumberjack in front of you can’t quote any Monty Python aside from that one song doesn’t mean they have any less passion than you.”

Tiger Thighs Studio: My Two Cents on the Cosplay debate – “New fans bring new fandoms, and fresh blood to what would be an otherwise dying medium.”

*for the record, I hate this word. Especially when it’s used in Breast cancer research marketing.
**I’m torn on whether this erases the presence of gay/bi women. My instinct is that these companies are not hiring gorgeous ladies to bring in the lesbian market, because they don’t really acknowledge its existence. I’d love feedback.
***Twilight is bad. I won’t argue it’s not. But so is the original Battlestar Galactica, and a lot of trade paperback sci-fi/fantasy, and those are acceptable fandoms.
****Fuck you, Tony Harris

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15 Responses to “Costuming in Geekdom, or How Much Geekier Do I Have To Be?”

  1. Lisa November 30, 2012 at 5:39 pm #

    At DragonCon last year, I found myself walking behind a very shapely and scantily clad Pikachu girl. There was a catcall asking for her ‘digletts’ (which may or may not have been from mine own husband) and she turned around, puzzled. The non-costumed boy she was walking with called back that she doesn’t know Pokemon. Pokemon. I didn’t realise that there were people our age in existence that didn’t have a rudimentary knowledge of Pokemon.

    You are not the type to strike up a conversation with a babe in a store bought Mario mini skirt or Legs Avenue costume, but I don’t know how you could not have seen them. I have absolutely no doubt that they are not involved in the geek community, that they lived in the area convenient to a con, that they’re keen on the Spartan boys or the spandex-clad superheroes.

    A very large part of costuming is a focus on getting attention. Why on earth would vapid girls be exempt from this allure? I sure as hell don’t costume so that people will gaze upon the artful way I hand-sewed my seed pearls or cobbled my own shoes or whatever. It’s so people will see it and laugh and tell me it’s awesome. And it doesn’t have to be skillfully made to evoke that response.

    As far as the uproar in the entertainment community, I think that a large part of that is justified. Because if people are going to be placed in front of a camera, much less be successful in that role, they have to be -pretty-. And if it gets them more viewers to say that not only are they pretty, but they also have all the same interests as youuuuu, then so be it. This is not exclusive to the geek community, it’s just new to us in the last ten years or so.

    I don’t cosplay people I don’t know; I was even hesitant to do Iron Man because just having watched the movies felt like a cop-out. But I’m not going to say that people don’t, or even that it’s not common. There’s an entire forum at cosplay.com asking for suggestions as to who they should dress as based on who they resemble. How counter-intuitive and ridiculous does this seem to us? Honestly, if I were you, I’d be just as pissed as these guys. Because these girls buy a stylized sexy Halloween costume and get just as much, if not ungodly more, attention than you and your fellow serious
    costumers who slaved away for hours, days, weeks on end trying to match up to your vision.

    /meandering ramble

    • stonebiscuit November 30, 2012 at 6:50 pm #

      I think you told me the Pokemon story. To be fair, I have no idea what a diglett is. :D

      I worked at a costume store off and on for quite some time, and have had plenty of conversations with Leg Avenue/Rosie’s crowd as I was helping them select an ensemble. Some of them want to dress up like a character fondly remembered from childhood, some are just jumping on the costuming train and don’t realize/aren’t prepared for better options, some like the way they look in a particular costume, and yes, some are only looking for Spartans to impress. But the exact same thing is true of the Spartans, and I don’t see industry professionals calling them bitches and whores. And PS, we’re all keen on the Spartans. That’s why at least some of them are there–because they know we’re all keen on them.

      Of course costuming is about attention. I said that in the post, but because it’s so true, I’ll say it again. I love attention (you would know)! And that’s not a bad thing, or a thing to be ashamed of, or something we should be talking shit about people for (especially if we happen to be, I don’t know, reasonably famous comic book artists). I wrote a whole post about how much I hate sewing, but keep doing it because I love the attention the finished product brings me. The same is true of most people who create things. Occasionally we get an Emily Dickinson type who hides their work until its posthumously discovery, but for the most part we are all looking for recognition of our creative efforts. Like I said, I don’t see too many geek-industry professionals working anonymously.

      “And if it gets them more viewers to say that not only are they pretty, but they also have all the same interests as youuuuu, then so be it.” Agreed. I don’t begrudge booth babes; everybody has to eat. I’m upset by the community that falls for this marketing tactic, thereby rewarding the companies using women as props, and then turns around and complains about how those bitches are “preying on” hapless geeks (assumed/stated to be male).

      “There’s an entire forum at cosplay.com asking for suggestions as to who they should dress as based on who they resemble. How counter-intuitive and ridiculous does this seem to us?” This makes perfect sense to me. I’ve posted before about costuming as someone you physically resemble, and I’ve also said, loudly as I am wont to do, that this is basically how I picked Scarlet Witch.

      I just don’t understand why there is this huge fucking hurdle. We don’t stop people on Halloween and grill them on the history of Catholocism because they’re dressed as a pregnant nun. If you’re at a con dressed as She-Ra, I don’t give a shit if you know nothing about She-Ra or can recite all the episodes verbatim. I honestly do not care. All I care about is how the costume looks and how you look in it. It’s a costume for a con, not an acting gig, not a master’s thesis, not a cure for cancer. If you’re speaking on a panel and/or trying to get me to buy your non-fiction book on the evolution of astrophotography, then yes, I want to see your credentials. If you’re in a costume, all I want to see is how it looks (and how did you attach that if you don’t mind can I take a look real quick OMFG THAT IS GENIUS YOU ARE A GENIUS). And if it looks like a crappy store-bought costume, or a crappy self-made costume, well, big fucking deal. You can still come to my geeky party. We can chat about how to improve your costume if you want. If you don’t, or if you’re just here for the boys and the booze and don’t want to hang out with me, well, more power to you. I’m a big fan of boys and booze myself. Geekdom is supposed to be about having fun, but for whatever reason there’s this group of self-appointed Geeky Gatekeepers saying “if you’re going to dress up like a character, you need to know everything about them or you’re a fakey fake attention whore! And lo, we shall cast all fakey-fake attention whores out of our Super Secret Club, because Real True Geeks do XYZ.” And they’re mostly saying it to/about ladies.

      I do get irritated when women in storebought bikinis get more attention than women in exquisite, hand-made, screen-accurate costumes, but I try to save my ire for the people and the culture that chooses to pay attention to them. If society is going to reward a certain behavior with attention, it’s not hard to understand why people seeking attention would model that behavior. I’ll spend my time in the Costume Track or the Alt History Track, and at the costume contests that are specifically about rewarding quality workmanship.

    • stonebiscuit November 30, 2012 at 6:58 pm #

      And here’s another thing: even given that Pokemon girl knows nothing about Pokemon, who’s to say she doesn’t enjoy other geeky things that she can partake of at the con? I have attended exactly two comic-related things at D*C in the last two years, and only because Daniel was presenting at both of them. Yet the last two years I’ve also done comic-related costumes.

    • stonebiscuit November 30, 2012 at 7:28 pm #

      And here’s another thing (sorry, WordPress ate the first comment I wrote and I’m still remembering bits from it. I promise this is the last). From where I’m sitting, paying for admission to a geek convention and/or dressing up to attend a geek convention you paid to get into is a pretty geeky activity, even if you’re not intimately familiar with the character you’re dressed up as.

  2. Indigo Fera (@pareidolista) November 30, 2012 at 7:49 pm #

    As a geeky queer lady, I’ve always been clear on the fact that the naked-ish ladies in geek media are not intended for me to enjoy, much like the women in “lesbian porn” are performing “girl on girl action” as opposed to bona fide lesbianism (fingernails… ow). The male gaze is pretty unmistakable.

    It’s also sort of hard for me to enjoy the naked-ish ladies when I know for a fact that most naked-ish ladies don’t look that way (setting aside the question of whether they should as another issue). Suspending disbelief in the existence or possibility of superheroes/aliens/werewolves/etc. is one thing, but it’s a bit more problematic suspending firsthand knowledge of basic female skeletal anatomy.

    • stonebiscuit December 1, 2012 at 2:31 pm #

      That’s what I figured. Thanks for your input; I appreciate it!

  3. maradanto December 1, 2012 at 12:06 am #

    It’s been years since I’ve been to a comic convention — closer to 30 years than to 20, I confess, and I don’t believe I ever saw anyone dress in a costume — but I have to say this is ridiculous. I thought it was a stupid attitude when I first heard about it earlier this year, and I think it’s a stupid attitude now. Is it really that common?

    Maybe because the comic book conventions I attended were almost exclusively male-attended, and I remember being the age that I knew girls were interesting but as a geek they also were unapproachable, but I think I wouldn’t have objected to the presence of girls at a comic book convention? That would have made them approachable, understandable, possessing interests in common with me.

    And even if someone is posing as a comic book fan, so what? Who’s being hurt? I’m fairly certain it takes a lot of time to make a superhero/supervillain costume, and if someone is taking that much time to make one, she’s already established her bona fides, as far as I’m concerned.

    • stonebiscuit December 1, 2012 at 2:30 pm #

      The anti-cosplay attitude isn’t super common, thankfully. This was all triggered by (among other things) Tony Harris posting a rant on his Facebook page that went viral. He’s since deleted it, but nothing on the internet ever goes away. Screencaps are here, as well as a quick rundown of some of the similar instances from the previous weeks.

  4. caro December 12, 2012 at 3:17 pm #

    Great post, Rykie.

  5. Chris November 28, 2013 at 1:19 pm #

    I am a man. I believe strongly in equality of women and men. I am becoming more and more passionate about breaking the barriers to the realization of that equality.

    That being said, I’d like to offer some insight that will, hopefully, help in breaking down this particular barrier.

    Not as an excuse, but as a possible explanation of some of the misogynistic attitude of quite a few male geeks out there, I will offer up a bit of my history or the history I’ve seen for some of my fellow geeks.

    Growing up as a geek who loved programming computers, excelling at math and playing D&D, and as a boy who was a bit weak, a little too emotional and usually very socially awkward and who found out much later that most of my symptoms fell into the ADD category, I can assure you that I was not very high in the social hierarchy. Indeed, I was worse than unpopular since everyone knew who I was, just not in a good way.

    I found that I did not actually have a choice of the people I was going to hang out with, I was pretty much forced to hang out with the same people that everyone seemed to hate. For whatever reason, and it’s probably also due to a societal disparity between males and females, there were mostly only boys in this group, and later on when I was in a larger school, there were a few of the “really” socially awkward girls that found their way into the group.

    For most of us, being beaten up, criticized and harassed was pretty much a part of being alive. I think most of us came to accept it after a fashion and many of those who didn’t would end up committing suicide or similarly giving up on life.

    In my recollection, getting beaten up was not very pleasant, but for whatever reason, these scars seemed to be less deep than the emotional ones.

    This may be another stereotype, but in my experience, girls seemed to be better at doling out emotional damage than boys. They seemed to be better at coming up with cutting criticisms and really making people that are the target of this sort of maliciousness feel like real scum.

    I can’t say this has happened to me personally, but I’ve had acquaintances who were really burned by girls who would set them up emotionally. They would appeal to our need to feel socially accepted and make some of us feel like we were getting that acceptance, in essence they were building up a pedestal under our feet. Then they would knock that pedestal out when it could do significant damage. I don’t personally know of any girls that have had similar things happen to them, but the movie “Carrie” seems to show a pretty good example. Of course, that was also set up by girls.

    Despite being a group where, what most of us had in common was how much we hated “the in crowd”, but at the same time wishing we were in it, most of us were really loners. Some of us built bonds on shared experiences, but that was usually as strong as our friendships became.

    Instead, we would create something more of an elite club. In order to sooth our very fragile, very damaged self-esteems, we built up huge egos. In order for us to do this, we had to make our own rules up as to what was good and what was bad. For us, the rules of what was good, were related pretty much what we were. A bunch of socially awkward boys and some really socially awkward girls, most of whom have higher than average intelligence and many who had become undisputed masters of something that was not mainstream (i.e. comic book heroes, role playing games, or bugs).

    I think you can imagine that with the kind of negative experiences some of us had, it’s not hard to see how anyone who does not fit into that elite club could be viewed with suspicion and in some cases hatred. You can see how that trust could be shaken to the point where these sorts of geeks don’t know what to believe, but feel a strong need to question anything that breaks their mold of acceptable geek. I think the already prominent societal view that women are somehow inferior to men makes it seem more acceptable for these particular geeks to act this way.

    I personally have grown up quite a bit since those days and so have many other geeks. Of course with game cons and comic cons, you can see that there are still quite a few people holding on to their childhood security blankets. They want to go to these to be around people who make them feel safe to be a geek. In fact, these conventions will attract more of these geeks who were the most damaged.

    Many of the geeks that have learned to grow up and give up some of these painful moments and stop feeling as if they are part of a different society than the human race don’t feel the strong need to go to comic cons, but may still do so for nostalgic reasons, or to network.

    Again, I’m not making any excuses for those who still treat women (or anyone for that matter) this way. I think that everyone needs to grow up and stop playing these petty school games. I also know, however, that when you’ve built up habits to protect yourself from real and perceived wrongs, it can be difficult to just let those defenses go.

    I’m sure there are other reasons for this misogyny than what I’ve described here, but if this note helps even one person to bridge that gender gap a little, then this comment was worth the time I took to write it.

    • stonebiscuit November 29, 2013 at 2:29 pm #

      I get what you’re saying, but people have to get what we’re saying too. Our histories are pretty much identical, as you’ve described them. I too grew up as a weird, awkward, painfully sensitive child. I had really bad year-round allergies, which meant a constantly runny nose (charming!). I have a weird name that is generally associated with the opposite sex. I was 6″-12″ taller than most of my peers until late in high school and therefore couldn’t hide from them or blend in even when I tried. My parents gave me my first D&D set when I was 8 (it was the red box, reissued). I loved to read. I loved to write. I loved to play make-believe. I loved a lot of things that other people didn’t love. And what’s more, I was and remain fiercely extroverted–I want people to like me. If I had to choose between being lonely for the rest of my life and having an ovarian cyst burst every day (which was the worst pain I have ever experienced), I can say with reasonable certainty I would select the latter. There’s one notable difference: in my experience, boys were and remain capable of significantly more cruelty than girls. Girls can be cruel, yes, and I can promise you that I felt that first hand, but I never feared that they were going to beat the shit out of me or sexually assault me. Now I’m a grownup. I have developed a pretty thick skin and a no bullshit attitude. And yet I don’t wear skirts at DragonCon anymore because a few years ago I caught some guy (with a badge on, I should add) taking upskirt pics of me on the escalator.

      Imagine that you grew up a geek/nerd/otherwise outcast. This is not hard to imagine, I know, because we both did it. You eventually discover the internet, cons, internet gaming, cosplay, various fannish spaces, and are OVERJOYED, because finally! Here are people who like the things you like! And then all of a sudden you discover that because you’re female (or gay, or both, or…) a number of the people dominating this space won’t accept you, ignore you, or even treat you badly, because you’re too pretty and/or not pretty enough, or you won’t sleep with them, or you do sleep with them and then decide you’d rather not anymore, or because you like a different thing than they do, or don’t know “enough” about a certain thing, or interact with your shared fandom in different ways, or because some girl was mean to them in school, or because their mom threw away their comics. What’s more, a distressing number of the rest of the fandom don’t necessarily treat you badly, but they also don’t necessarily stand up for you, so it follows that they accept this. Everywhere you look in fannish spaces you see other women getting shit on for calling out misogyny and other bad behavior in the spaces you both love (Anita Sarkeesian and Genevive Valentine come to mind immediately). So now WTF do you do?

      I know it hurts to be ridiculed and outcast. I know that. Growing up to act just like the people who treated us badly is not the way to heal old wounds. Accepting ourselves for who we are, yes. Accepting others for who they are, yes. Privately or publicly forgiving the people who made us miserable, perhaps. Therapy, maybe. Point is, we as a (wildly powerful) subculture need to grow the fuck up. This “geekdom is an elite club” bullshit does nothing but create fresh hurts in people, many of whom are just like we were.

      I want to feel safe to be a geek too.

      PS. the events in “Carrie” were set up by girl characters, but the book was written by a man. Let’s not use that as an example of female cruelty.

      • Chris November 29, 2013 at 4:09 pm #

        Thank you, I agree very much with what you are saying here. Again, those were only my experiences, and they were likely colored by my own perspective. I fully agree that the behavior has to stop, regardless of the reasons behind it.

        BTW, I actually knew that about Carrie, but hadn’t really thought of it when I replied, so thanks for pointing it out.

        As a guy, I must admit, the rape is not something I ever really feared and never really needed to. I can’t imagine how awful it must be to be in constant fear of half the population. That’s something that I truly hope improves and I have done and will continue to do what I can to help change that.

        I don’t think anyone should have to fear for their life or well being for any reason and that any behavior that contributes to that feeling of fear should be addressed and eliminated. I know that’s an idealistic view that is not likely to happen in my lifetime, or likely even the lifetime of my children or theirs for some generations to come. Even so, I hope to see some great strides toward that end within my lifetime.

        I hope more than anything, men and women can find a way to get on the same side of this issue and solve it together, rather than seeing themselves as adversaries in a war between girls and boys.

    • stonebiscuit November 29, 2013 at 2:31 pm #

      Oh, PPS, I don’t think I know you, so welcome to the blog! :D

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