Reign, or why do my friends hate me?

9 Jul

Well, not all of them, but at least one friend hates me. J, who we’re discussed in the past, was over at my place for the 4th of July. A couple of hours into the revelry, she cued up a video on her phone, put it in my hand, and said “here, watch this.”  Like the drunken fool that I was at the time, I did her bidding, and before long I was flailing and cursing, shrieking my dislike of the costuming to the heavens. “Put on some pants!” I remember yelling. “WHERE ARE HIS PANTS?” It took a few minutes for J’s laughter to penetrate my haze of intoxication and indignation.

The video in question was the 4 minute long preview for Reign, a new show on the CW, presented here for your own teeth-gnashing/garment-rending pleasure.

big no

#shame

#shame

FOR THE RECORD: I learned my lesson with the historical and sartorial atrocity that was The Tudors, and had written Reign off the second I heard about it for many reasons, not least because it’s on the CW,  nothing good comes from there. I was content to go on pretending it didn’t exist. I expressed as much to J, as I recall, when she first brought it up. I can think of no reason for her treachery.

i will feed you to the fires

Admittedly I know very little about Mary, Queen of Scots, but I do know:

  • she did not swan about in public with her hair covered only by some godawful Forever 21 headband
  • she did not wear sleeveless anything
  • the Dauphin of France is not wearing pants

nerd rage

I can’t wait for the eventual interviews with the costume designer about how they wanted to “make history sexy” or whatever other bullshit term we’re now using when we mean to say “we were too lazy to do the research.” Because let me tell you, internets–there is a huge amount of research into Elizabethan costume available in this world, and most of it is freely available (much of it freely available at those links to the right).

I hate this show already.

And J, if you’re reading this, I hate you too.

going into my fort

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2 Responses to “Reign, or why do my friends hate me?”

  1. J July 9, 2013 at 9:16 pm #

    That gif of Tina Fey yelling “Nerd raaaaaaage”? You do that, but more entertainingly and for a longer period of time. THAT, my friend, is the reason for my treachery.

    • stonebiscuit July 9, 2013 at 9:21 pm #

      When I nerd rage myself into a heart attack, I’m sending you the medical bills.

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