Archive | January, 2018

Today’s Horoscopes

30 Jan

Aries – Don’t you wish you’d brought some dinner to work rather than trust your late lunch would carry you through? If only you’d done your horoscope reading earlier in the day, you would have known.

Taurus – Nobody noticed that thing, I promise.

Gemini – Sometimes it’s best to let things go; other times you should keep holding on. Which of these applies to the Scorpio dangling from the roof is a matter for your conscience.

Cancer – Dressing on the side. Trust me.

Leo – YOU’RE THE BEST*

Virgo – The stars say, and I quote, “you have a lot of nerve coming back here after what you pulled.”

Libra – Your immediate future holds dogs, or pretzels, or maybe a shower? Please let your future hold a shower.

Scorpio – Perhaps you should have been kinder to that Gemini.

Sagittarius – Expect rain. (The time will come to rise up against the Leos. Await the signal of the Aries. #firesignwar)

Capricorn – Punch through the walls you’ve built! Break down the barriers in front of you! Do something with your boxes of old textbooks in the office closet!

Aquarius – A ballerina en pointe may look effortless, but is actually working extremely hard. Consider developing your talents in the inverse situation.

Pisces – Keep trying and eventually you may be as cool as an Aries.

All Signs: It’s National Croissant Day. Find an Aries who forgot to bring dinner to work, and then bring her a croissant at work and you’ll have good luck all year!

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Fictional Tropes I’m Tired Of: A List

15 Jan
  • Shit-ass reporter trying to make terrible things happen so they’ll have something to report
  • “Tracker” character looks at ground, immediately deduces everything that happened in that area for the last three weeks
  • Not Like Other Girls
  • Killing the scrappy to make me feel sad
  • Minor Character Of Color Saves White Hero At Cost Of Own Life
  • Weirdly religious cowboy villain (it was fine in 3:10 to Yuma, but please let’s stop)
  • Grizzled, stoic, totally boring guy gets redemption arc at expense of anyone else’s character development
  • The Marketing: “This property is all about WOMEN!”
    The Property Itself: *is mostly about dudes!*

Percentage of these tropes present in Godless: 100%.

How much of the show I watched anyway: 100%.

Personal shame meter: 50%.

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