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When the Medication Wears Off (Patreon Post)

10 Sep

I compare it to a headache. Pain is not a desirable state. As a society we pay lip service to the idea that it shouldn’t be the default setting, unless you’re poor, chronically ill, female-bodied, elderly…ya know, this metaphor doesn’t work, let me start again.

I compare it to a cold. Being sick isn’t a good thing, even a relatively minor illness. We don’t expect people to forgo care for physical illness–nope, that doesn’t work either.


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“My Broken House Behind Me and Good Things Ahead”: I’m Still Here

8 Sep

In the last nine months I’ve gone to therapy regularly; got diagnosed with ADHD; gone on medication for ADHD, depression, and anxiety; sold my first short story; dug deep and sorted out a lot of trauma and realized I’m bisexual; finished drafts of two different novels; organized fundraisers; recorded two more albums (coming soon!). My marriage and friendships are stronger than they’ve ever been. I feel more hopeful, more like myself than I have in almost a decade.

I also lost my 15 year old Facebook account, got some terrible news about my dad’s health, watched my husband get laid off (again), and took our cat, Lamby-toes in for surgery to remove the cancer that has come back already. I’ve started planning her last day.

Also I started a Patreon, so, ya know, if you like what I do about here, feel free to subscribe.

This year has been A Lot Of Year, and it is only September (also it is already September, what the hell?). This has been a year of trying to be brave, trying to be vulnerable, trying to heal, trying to create, trying to help, trying to leave things better than I found them. Trying to move forward.

Last year I listened to “This Year” by The Mountain Goats a lot, and let me tell you: I made it. I’m still here. Considering where I was a year ago, that’s a pretty big thing.

I hope you’re still here too.

Today’s Horoscopes

30 Jan

Aries – Don’t you wish you’d brought some dinner to work rather than trust your late lunch would carry you through? If only you’d done your horoscope reading earlier in the day, you would have known.

Taurus – Nobody noticed that thing, I promise.

Gemini – Sometimes it’s best to let things go; other times you should keep holding on. Which of these applies to the Scorpio dangling from the roof is a matter for your conscience.

Cancer – Dressing on the side. Trust me.


Virgo – The stars say, and I quote, “you have a lot of nerve coming back here after what you pulled.”

Libra – Your immediate future holds dogs, or pretzels, or maybe a shower? Please let your future hold a shower.

Scorpio – Perhaps you should have been kinder to that Gemini.

Sagittarius – Expect rain. (The time will come to rise up against the Leos. Await the signal of the Aries. #firesignwar)

Capricorn – Punch through the walls you’ve built! Break down the barriers in front of you! Do something with your boxes of old textbooks in the office closet!

Aquarius – A ballerina en pointe may look effortless, but is actually working extremely hard. Consider developing your talents in the inverse situation.

Pisces – Keep trying and eventually you may be as cool as an Aries.

All Signs: It’s National Croissant Day. Find an Aries who forgot to bring dinner to work, and then bring her a croissant at work and you’ll have good luck all year!

Support an independent artisan

14 Jun

Dream Hats is run by a tremendously talented milliner who also happens to be a friend of mine, and they just purchased a brand new-to-them booth at the Scarborough Renaissance Festival!

The booth is beautiful, but in need of some renovation–and there’s also stock to make, and payments to pay. Her work speaks for itself, but trust me when I say she’s also a hilarious, thoughtful, generous (check out Kari’s Hope), and generally awesome person.  I’ve donated to the IndieGoGo campaign already, and I encourage you all to check out her work and donate as well.

Soliciting suggestions: Scarlet Witch headdress edition

1 Jan

Happy new year! I have begun 2013 in the way I intend to continue: with food, sex, sleep, and even a little creativity. Then,between the creativity and the bit where I’m fully dressed and curled up under a brand-new heated fleece throw because it’s cold, I started thinking about things that distress me and I realized I need help.

As you may recall, a while ago we did this Post-Apocalyptic Avengers thing, and really enjoyed it. So we’re doing it again. And I have a problem. I cannot figure out what to do about the Scarlet Witch’s motherfucking headdress. The more I talked to people, the more I realized the costume just wasn’t reading, even in the group, without it. For all I think it’s kind of stupid, it needs to be there.

To recap, this is what said headdress looks like:



As evidenced by the fact that I tied on a red bandana and called it a day, I have no idea how to translate this weird piece of gear into a post-apocalyptic setting. It makes NO SENSE.

I’m considering an Assassin’s Creed-style hood (more Ezio than Altair), worn further back with a more pronounced widow’s peak, in the same red canvas as the coat:

Altair (L) and Ezio (R), being attractive and well-dressed as is their custom

Hellooooo gentlemen

I’ve also considered:

  • making the damn headdress out of canvas and just wearing it flat against my head, to hell with it
  • getting some kind of helmet or hat or something (maybe an aviator helmet?) and painting/appliqueing the design
  • devil horns
  • duct tape
  • setting everything on fire and starting again with a character whose original artist was not sniffing glue

None of these ideas make me very happy, so if you’re reading this and you’re not too busy recovering from the poor choices you made last night, do me a solid and give me some suggestions. I’ll be your best friend.

On the strapless gown

24 Sep

I admittedly don’t understand the majority of red carpet choices, especially in the current era of Plunging Necklines Without Necklaces. My interest in clothing ends right about the time the Titanic sank.

That being said, would someone please explain to me why Christina Hendricks, who is a stunningly beautiful and talented actress, keeps showing up to red carpets wearing these dreadful strapless gowns that make her breasts look like basketballs?

Actually, you know what, why are strapless gowns a thing? They flatter approximately six of the three billion women in the world, and when those six women wear them they can’t raise their arms, scratch, sneeze, or do anything for fear their breasts will go flying out of their containers. The rest of us look either monumentally flat-chested, or as though our breasts are about to riot.

That’s four emmy’s dresses where the bodice looks like an afterthought tacked on at 5 in the morning by a terrified intern drunk on wine coolers. That green thing? is gorgeous! If I had a skirt like that I would wear it every day, and swan around the city introducing myself as Queen Frostine of the Merpeople, here to bless their meaningless lives with my Magical, Sparkly Presence. So I’m actually a little angry at that stupid, stupid seashell top thing. This could be a spectacular gown, if somebody had bothered to say “you know what’s fucking stupid? Strapless gowns.” It looks unfinished. It looks half-done. It looks fucking sloppy.

I think this is part of the larger trend of red carpet fashion for women to look done up, but not too done up. Like sure, I’m wearing a $17,000 gown encrusted with the crystallized tears of virgin water pixies, but I’m not wearing it on purpose. I just fell out of bed and into this custom-fitted gown. And these $6,400 shoes. And this $5,000 gold bangle that is my only piece of decoration because too much jewelry is vulgar or something, and of course the hundreds of dollars and countless hours of hair and makeup just so I can look as fresh-faced and “natural” as no one ever looks without hundreds of dollars of makeup.

It’s such a strange reversal. When fabric and jewelry were mostly hand-made and therefore expensive, the wealthy decked themselves in as much finery as they could carry and the rest of us dressed much more simply. Now jewelry and accessories are mass-produced, and we can finally start wearing a bunch of them without breaking the bank, but we shouldn’t. Because one accessory is enough, apparently. Anything else is vulgar.

That dress that makes your breasts/legs/ass look great

20 Jun

Every time I work a faire, I discover some new Awesome Thing That I Can’t Live Without. My teensy apartment is full of wooden straws, leather pouches, and striped knee socks. It’s a problem.

The 2012 Scarborough Ren Fest saw me discovering My Favorite Dress. Their shop was right next to the pub sing, and I fell in love with one of the short dresses (in vivid purple and blue) so hard that I bought it without trying it on, which I hardly ever do, because I’ve got an enormous rib cage, broad shoulders, and long arms and legs. So I went home and put it on and have basically not taken it off since then, except eventually I wanted some variety, so I bought another. Same dress, different color (darker purple and black).

I have basically lived in these dresses since then. They’re gorgeous, comfy, unusual, and they make me look fantastic. They go everywhere. I can dress them up with leggings and a shrug and a hat, or wear them over jeans to be casual without being schlubby. They have a lot of flounce, and the cut is stupid flattering. And and and, miracle of miracles, they’re long enough for me to wear without anything under them! I have a 36″ inseam; finding dresses that are long enough to be decent has been a challenge since I was a tiny tot. But they’re still cute short dresses! WTF THAT NEVER HAPPENS.

So, I love these dresses. We’ve established that. I highly recommend them. And while wearing them (and, let’s face it, admiring myself in the mirror) I remembered how much I like kicky little dresses that can go with anything. I am, at this very second, wearing a dress that is actually a bathing suit coverup from Target, which I bought last year and typically pair with jeans and just look so damned cute in. I also have a couple of sarongs that I like to wear. I come to you, Gentle Readers, because I need more.

So recommend me your favorite dresses. They should be adorable, and purple, and forgiving in the approximate region of the midriff.

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