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Liveblogging Reign

18 Oct

I don’t know why, but I watched the premiere episode of Reign. You know, the show on the CW where the Dauphin of France is running around without pants on and Mary Queen of Scots is wearing sleeveless gowns and sparkly headbands? Yes, that Reign. I watched it. And then I liveblogged it.  For you.

I gave up on the costumes almost immediately, because it was really just dynamiting fish in a barrel and I only have so much outrage in my body. Let’s just talk about the plot, and the acting, and the…the everything. On a scale of One to Ten, I rate it a Hot Mess.

Let’s watch it!

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DragonCon prep: a montage

21 Aug

When the hour’s approaching to give it your best, and you’ve got to reach your prime

hour approaching

That’s when you need to put yourself to the test


and show us the passage of time

show us the passing of time

We’re gonna need a montage! Ooh, it takes a montage!


Show a lot of things happening at once

Remind everyone of what’s going on!
remind everyone of what's going on

With every shot show a little improvement

To show it all would take too long

to show it all would take too long

That’s called a montage!


Oooh, we want a montage!


In anything, if you want to go from just a beginner


to a pro


You need a montage! Even Rocky had a montage!


Always fade out in a montage…


If you fade out it seems like more time has passed in a montage…



Reign, or why do my friends hate me?

9 Jul

Well, not all of them, but at least one friend hates me. J, who we’re discussed in the past, was over at my place for the 4th of July. A couple of hours into the revelry, she cued up a video on her phone, put it in my hand, and said “here, watch this.”  Like the drunken fool that I was at the time, I did her bidding, and before long I was flailing and cursing, shrieking my dislike of the costuming to the heavens. “Put on some pants!” I remember yelling. “WHERE ARE HIS PANTS?” It took a few minutes for J’s laughter to penetrate my haze of intoxication and indignation.

The video in question was the 4 minute long preview for Reign, a new show on the CW, presented here for your own teeth-gnashing/garment-rending pleasure.

big no



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Fan casting Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver

9 May

So Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch are kindasorta confirmed for The Avengers sequel due out in 2015.

At first I was like:


And then I was like:


And then I was like:

“Wait just a cotton pickin minute here.”  Because I have a lot of question. Like how are you going to introduce a pair of heroes whose powers are the result of mutation into a canon without mutants? How are you going to deal with them being the children of-a-character who doesn’t exist in this canon thing? Will there be incest (please no)? Will Wanda go crazy and fuck shit up? How are you going to fit yet another arrogant son of a bitch and yet another ticking time bomb of barely controlled extraordinary power into the Avengers movie lineup? And most importantly, who are you going to cast and where can I send my resume?

This last bit is what’s really been concerning me. Post-nasal drip has left me too miserable to focus on much anything else, so let’s talk my dreamcast. No, it has nothing to do with costuming, except in the roundabout way that I got  interested in the characters while researching them for costuming purposes. Go with me on this and in a couple of days I’ll be back to tell you more about the grape fairies, which proceed swimmingly despite my misery.

SO. My Super Important Fan Cast!


Full disclosure: I have no idea what’s going on here

As Elrond once told us, you have only one choice. And that choice is Alexander Skarsgard.


Elrond would have picked this man had he the chance.

This guy is the hub around which all my other casting wishes revolve. It negates any chance of the twins being youngsters just discovering their powers, which I feel is a likely and also interesting way to introduce them, but I don’t care.

If the first two seasons of True Blood taught us anything, it’s that Alexander Skarsgard is capable of playing an arrogant, impatient, temperamental, frequently bored, enormously sexy son of a bitch who constantly hops back and forth between evil and not-so-evil. Furthermore, he can make said character really compelling. His hair is pretty close to being right, and also, did I mention that he is beautiful? Because he is beautiful. Also, he’s European! He’s, ya know, Northern European, but Transia doesn’t exist, I can’t think of any Eastern European actors who are bankable in the US, and anyway, there are Romani people living in Sweden, so I’m going with it.

Honorable Mentions: Ben Foster (he could do amazing things with this character), Jamie Bamber


I hope he texts me.

Scarlet Witch


Phenomenal cosmic powers…itty bitty living space.

Since Vivien Leigh is tragically no longer with us, I admit to initially being at a bit of a loss. Michelle Pfeiffer, though a glorious woman of ageless beauty, has probably aged out of the role. People keep suggesting Zooey Deschanel, and I am like:


I thought about Emily Blunt, and I do love her, but it just didn’t sit right. Then I was like “WAIT A MINUTE”:

Marion Cotillard

marion cotillard

She’s an amazing actor, fully capable of portraying enormous strength and vulnerability side by side . Unhinged/barely hinged characters are, if not her specialty, certainly a staple of her filmography (if you haven’t seen Love Me If You Dare or La Vie en Rose go out and do it what are you waiting for OMG), and she plays them with a certain measure of grace that keeps even a caricature from being a caricature. When she’s onscreen, I can’t take my eyes off of her. Plus, European again! Everybody wins!

Honorable Mentions: Emily Blunt, anybody but Zooey Deschanel, seriously anybody as long as it’s not Eliza Dushku, who I also saw suggested and I just don’t understand people.

BONUS: Ms. Marvel

ms marvel

Disney/Marvel apparently has a script about Ms. Marvel in development, so while we’re here, let’s just go ahead and say what we all know in our hearts to be true:

Katee Sackhoff

katee sackhoff


Honorable Mention: nobody. Fuck all y’all; Katee is the only choice.

I’d love to hear your own dream cast for these characters. Or hell, any characters! Let’s not limit ourselves. For example, I believe Ant Man should be played by Russel Crowe, because my only exposure to Ant Man is in Ultimates, and in Ultimates, he’s, well, an awful person. FITTING, RIGHT? Right.

Fabulous Costume Movie Madness Tournament of Champions: And the winner is…

9 Apr

It’s time, finally, to announce the Grand Champion of the Fabulous Movie Madness Tournament of Champions. I know that voting in the Championship Poll has been closed for several days, and I really should have announced the winner quite some time ago. Instead, I got my transmission replaced and drove to Texas in the middle of the night! And then the Scarborough Renaissance Festival opened, a friend came to visit me, we went to see Jurassic Park (which was just as awesome as it was 20 years ago)and also I was very sleepy and had to consume a lot of quiche. So basically, my bad, and I will announce the winner right now

…first, though, allow me to say a quick word of thanks for all your votes and attention. A little over a month ago, when we began this little tournament, I had no idea it would be so much fun, or that I would swear so much while I was running it, but it was and I did, and I regret nothing. I couldn’t have done it without you.

If you’ll recall, the Championship Poll found us choosing between The Lord of the Rings trilogy and Moulin Rouge! A tough contest to be sure, but as far as I’m concerned, almost all of these matchups have been tough. There can be only one winner, and that winner is…

with 69.57% of the vote…

The Lord of the Rings


lotr award

Congratulations, y’all!


I think it’s appropriate that a series such enormous care and attention to detail has come out on top of a tournament I basically slapped together. Wait, that wasn’t what I meant to say! What I meant to say was, I think it’s appropriate that a series with such enormous care and attention to detail has come out on top. I wouldn’t be exaggerating if I were to say that the Lord of the Rings trilogy is a cinematic masterpiece as well as the defining film event of my generation. I will never forget the first time I saw it in the theatre. I was 17. It was the last day of high school before Christmas break, and my new boyfriend, who was a big fan of the books, took me to see it for our first real date. I don’t remember much of the date, or the rest of our short relationship, but I will never forget how my heart soared the first time the camera zoomed down down down into the pits of Isengard (at this point I dropped my date’s hand and leaned forward in my chai to better absorb what I was seeing), or how it shattered into a thousand pieces as Aragorn strapped on Boromir’s gauntlets as his funeral boat glides down the Falls of Rauros. The next year, as a freshman in college, I met a group of girls who were also in love with the movie. We all gathered in my tiny dorm room to watch it on the tiny monitor of my brand new computer, and became best friends, calling ourselves the Brenau Fellowship. Eleven years later, they’re still among my best friends. The life-sized cardboard cutout of Legolas I got for my 18th birthday has been with me ever since. Watching the films with my most recent boyfriend, who was a big fan before we even met, became a ritual that deepened our affection for each other and continued after we married. To this day, when I’m in a hard place, I revisit the films or the books. The Lord of the Rings won dozens of awards, did a lot to legitimize fantasy as a movie genre, spawned a thousand copycats, made a jillion dollars, and basically changed cinematic history, but more importantly as far as I’m concerned, it changed my life.

And now, while I cry a little, pictures of the cast celebrating!

lotr hugStars of the Lord of the Rings leave Wellington, T lotr hug 3 lotr hug 2 The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers Premiere


Fabulous Costume Movie Madness Tournament of Champions: THE CHAMPIONSHIP

31 Mar

When last we met, we were voting in the semi-finals. All that is over now. The Lord of the Rings beheaded Marie Antoinette, taking 66.67% of the vote, and Moulin Rouge has sunk Titanic with 70.59% of the vote.

Now these two giants go up against each other.

This is it.

This is the final poll.

Voting ends at midnight on April 3rd.

You have until then.

Don’t let me down.


Fabulous Costume Movie Madness Tournament of Champions: THE SEMI-FINALS

25 Mar

semi finals

Oh my gosh. We’re nearing the end of the Fabulous Costume Movie Madness Tournament of Champions, people. This is the semi-finals,  the regional championships, the penultimate vote, the almost-end-of-the-tournament! Four competitors are left in two polls that will determine which two entries compete for the title of Most Faublousest Costume Movie Of All Time*. What film is going to win? I DON’T KNOW AND IT IS DRIVING ME CRAZY.


In the interest of upping the suspense of which Mr. Wonka and I are so fond, from now on all the poll results will be hidden until the polls close. So, without further ado, let’s see who won and get to voting!

Polls close Thursday, March 28th, at midnight.

Odd Number Region

The Award-Heavy Tearjerking Historical Drama Division’s champion, Titanic, handily defeated the Dark Horse Division’s surprise champion, Razzle Dazzle: A Journey into Dance, carrying 71.43% of the vote . That brings it into competition with Moulin Rouge!, from the Glitter Division!, which defeated Ye Ren Faire Divisione Champione Elizabeth R by a slightly lesser margin of 63.64% . Now the two blockbusters face off against each other. One was the most expensive movie ever at the time of its release; the other had Ewan McGregor singing “Your Song.” Cinematic history has a place for both of them, but our tournament does not.

Even Number Region

Proving the truth of its name, the champion of the Pirates and Panniers Are An Unfair Advantage Division, Marie Antoinette, swept aside the Jane Austen Division winner, Pride and Prejudice, with a clean 75% of the vote. Apparently Mr. Darcy’s 10,000 a year can’t buy him votes. Marie Antoinette will go head-to-head (…hah!) against the fiercely competitive Lord of the Rings trilogy, which won the Fantasy division as handily as it collected 58.33% over Bright Star of the She Makes Her Own Clothes Division. Sorry, ladies. Better luck next time.

*championship title is a work in progress

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